“Gods Angels at Work”
He always was so strong for his age and the adrenaline only helped his cause. This was just another day when his stresses had been too much! He couldn’t keep it all in any longer and broke down. Running on pure adrenaline, he was trying to hurt anyone who came within his reach…. as well as himself. I quickly and carefully grabbed him from behind, around the waist with one hand and his one arm with my other hand and as gently as possible I brought him to the ground on his stomach and I leaned over on his back. This was to protect me from the blows that came and also to protect him from trying to injure himself. He was kicking with all his might and trying to hit me to get away. Normally I would restrain him until I could feel the energy drain away and he would calm down, but this time was different. He was not calming down. He squirmed and kicked and tried to get up all the while laughing like a crazed jackal.
I knew he wasn’t thinking straight and that if he got up, that would be it. I wouldn’t be able to hold him and he would be gone. There are no words to describe the heartbreak that I felt at times like this!! I sat there having no idea what to do! After a moment’s pause, I had a bit inspiration to call his primary teacher. Cameron had a primary teacher at church that he loved! She was very patient with him and tried to understand his needs. I called her, as I lay there on his back, and desperately asked her if she could come and help me. I was trying to keep as calm as possible but I wasn’t fooling anyone that I myself was losing it too.
She immediately came over to my house to attempt to help me diffuse the situation. As soon as she walked in the door and he heard her calm voice, his demeanor changed immediately. I cautiously let go of him and watched his every move. I was dumbfounded! He was a completely changed person upon seeing his teacher. He walked over to her as if nothing had happened and began having a conversation. I excused myself to the other room and broke down. I cried with anguish and desperation feeling like a complete and utter failure! I was crushed at the weight of it all…. the having to restrain my own child, the having to always have it together knowing he couldn’t, at not having a normal parenting experience, etc. Deep down, I knew he didn’t know what he was doing, but the pain was no less because of it. As deep as the pain was, so to was my gratitude for God’s angels at work in my life. There have been plenty who have knocked me flat on my back! Those who were too busy in their day to see a mom trying her very best in a very difficult situation. But that is not all! There were also plenty of people, God’s Angels, who took the time to see what was not visible and to help where they could. I will forever be grateful for the many who helped us on our path!!
How have others helped you not feel so alone? What do you wish others knew about how to help in difficult situations?